When a client begins their coaching journey with me, there are several foundations that are laid down at the very beginning that are key to making lasting positive changes in their life.

One of them is the Cause and Effect equation.

And it involves asking the client these two questions –

  • Are you at cause or the effect of your life?
  • Do you take responsibility for all that has happened in your life or are you at the effect of everything that happens to you?

Interestingly and more often than not, I will initially get blank or puzzled looks in response to these questions.

So what does being AT CAUSE actually mean? It means that you are responsible for everything that happens in YOUR world. Because you have a choice. You can CHOOSE TO BE one way, or CHOOSE TO BE another way. You can CHOOSE TO act in a certain way, or CHOOSE TO act in another way. You can CHOOSE TO feel a certain emotion, or CHOOSE TO feel a different emotion.

I_Choose_To_Be

Now here’s an important point so listen carefully. No one can make you be, act, feel or think something. It is always YOUR choice.

Those choices may not always be easy. In fact, during the life-changing moments, it will probably be quite difficult. However, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.

The flip side of this is being AT EFFECT. When you blame everyone and everything else around you for all that has happened to you. When you play the victim so well that you don’t even know you are! It’s easy to do because when you point the finger elsewhere, it lets you off the hook. The problem with that is that it also takes away your power to do anything about it and thus you become STUCK, PARALYSED and FROZEN IN TIME! Sound familiar?

So ask yourself these two questions now honestly –

  • Are you at cause or the effect of your life?
  • Do you take responsibility for all that has happened in your life or are you at the effect of everything that happens to you?

99% of the population is AT EFFECT. Wouldn’t it be great to be part of the 1% who are AT CAUSE?

Exercise

You can start NOW with the following simple language exercise.

  • Be on alert for the words ‘… make/made me feel/be/do …’ That is a signal to you that you have chosen to take on the VICTIM mode and are AT EFFECT.
  • Replace those words with 3 powerful words – I CHOOSE TO …

Give this a go. It will take consistent practice over time as you are rewiring old habits and creating new ones so persevere as it is well worth it. Let me know how it feels and what actions, decisions and behaviours flow from this!

Cause v Effect 1

If you haven’t already, make sure you download The Thriving Woman’s Blueprint ™: The 7 Step Process to take you from Surviving to Thriving.

Click BELOW for your INSTANT FREE ACCESS.

SEND ME THE THRIVING WOMAN’S BLUEPRINT™!

The_Thriving_Woman's_Blueprint_2D_Cover